Grandparents are the best source of support for new parents as they always enjoy being around their grandchildren and don’t usually turn down babysitting. Sometimes, though, they may have their own agenda, which might clash with that of the parents.
It seems like this is what happened between a postpartum woman and her mother-in-law. The older lady loved babysitting her 3-month-old granddaughter, but, strangely enough, kept referring to herself as “mommy” in front of the little one. This truly perplexed the mom.
More info: Reddit
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The poster said that her mother-in-law occasionally watched over her newborn, and that once she caught the woman referring to herself as “mommy”
When the new mom confronted her mother-in-law, the older woman said that she had a slip-up, as she was so used to being called mom
The poster was shocked when she caught her mother-in-law again calling herself mommy four times when nobody was around
The confused mom found the entire situation weird and spoke to her husband about it, but he didn’t think it was a big deal, which made her doubt herself
What the poster realized early on was that her husband’s mom kept calling herself mommy whenever she was around their newborn. The one time that somebody caught onto it, she quickly corrected herself and tried to explain it away by saying that she was so used to being a mom that it just happened.
Although it very easily could have been a simple mistake, the fact that it happened later on as well means that she had been doing it on purpose. According to psychologists, when someone tries to deny your recollection of events or lies to make you doubt yourself, it might be a form of gaslighting.
This behavior might make people feel like they’re going crazy as they are constantly second-guessing themselves. The OP, who had just had a baby three months ago, must have already been overwhelmed and, on top of that, forced to deal with her in-law’s weird actions. This must have truly made her feel confused.
It’s not uncommon for there to be some kind of friction in a parent and grandchild relationship. The biggest disagreements often occur over how to properly raise the children and about other parenting choices. Grandparents might often feel like they are doing the right thing and may willfully choose to disregard the parent’s wishes, which is what it seems like in this case.
When the poster caught her mother-in-law purposely calling herself mommy while babysitting, she realized that something was a bit off about the situation. That’s why she spoke to her husband about it, but he wasn’t helpful at all. In fact, he made it seem like she was making a big deal out of it.
Often, when there is a conflict between a partner and their in-laws, it is important for their spouse to step up. They need to mediate the discussion between their parents and loved one and calm the tensions between the two. They also need to proactively set boundaries in case their parents are overstepping.
It seems like the man didn’t want to confront his mom and didn’t think she was doing anything wrong by calling herself mommy. Other netizens have shared that grandparents may call themselves mom or dad, but it’s only by accident. If it happens on purpose, then it’s important to talk to the person about why they are doing it.
The OP was obviously put in an awkward situation because her mother-in-law had denied calling herself mommy in front of the infant. If the poster kept discussing the issue, it’s possible that she could end up angering the older woman and lose out on her help with babysitting. Therefore, having her husband’s support might be the only actual way to proceed.
What do you think the woman should do about her mother-in-law’s strange behavior?
People believed in the woman’s claims and told her that she was definitely not overreacting to the grandmom’s behavior and that she should call her out on it
