Moving in together entails loads of fun, but there’s quite a bit of the less romantic stuff that needs to be taken care of, too, like chores, rent, and bills.
Ideally, all should be shared between partners—whether equally or in a way that works for both—but that’s not always the case. For this netizen, for instance, it was rent that wasn’t exactly shared. As a matter of fact, she was the only one paying, which she found out when she learned that her boyfriend was pocketing her rent money. Scroll down to find the full story below.
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Talking about money might not be easy, but it’s important for the well-being of the relationship
Image credits: Dimaberlin / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
This woman started questioning her relationship after she learned that the rent wasn’t shared equally, as she thought it was
Image credits: Impactphotography / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Most couples move in together after dating for six to eleven months
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
At a certain point in the relationship, the partners jumping from home to home to visit each other simply becomes too much of a hassle. At said point, half of their belongings are at their partner’s home anyway, so why not have it all in one place and move in together?
While it’s usually part of the natural progression of a relationship, moving in together is a step couples take at different stages. For some, a couple months of dating is enough. Others prefer to have their own space for a year or two, sometimes more, and there’s no right or wrong when it comes to this.
According to The Knot, one in every four couples moves in together before they hit the six-month milestone. Roughly a third do after spending six to eleven months together.
Talking about the perfect time for couples to move in together, dating and relationship expert Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, told The Knot that it ranges from couple to couple. “There is no ‘normal’ when it comes to the length of time a couple should be together before cohabitating,” she said. “Each relationship has a different momentum. So, for example, in three to six months, you may have couples who see each other multiple times per week and have already integrated one another into their lives, and for others, they may have only gone on a few dates.”
Before moving in together, it’s important to have a money talk with your partner
Image credits: karlyukav / freepik (not the actual photo)
Moving in together usually entails (or at least it should) not only unpacking at the new place but having an in-depth talk about the new arrangement, too. Who pays the rent? Is it shared? Who cooks? Who cleans? Who’s responsible for the groceries? There are many things that need to be discussed for the well-being of both the residents and their relationship.
Many of the things that require discussion involve money. After all, rent, bills, and groceries are not free. So it’s crucial to sit down and have a money conversation with your partner—ideally, on a regular basis, but definitely one before moving in together—as awkward as it might be.
A survey from 2025 found that the main reason some people find it difficult to talk about money with their partner is fear of getting into an argument. According to the data, such arguments usually arise over what the partners consider a “necessity” each month, how much money should be spent on “non-essentials,” and how much should be set aside for saving.
The aforementioned survey found that more than four in five respondents believe that having a similar philosophy about money to that of your partner is key for a healthy relationship. That’s likely one of the reasons why the OP said she was “an open book” and wished that she and her boyfriend were more open with each other about finances. For her, learning that her partner wasn’t paying rent and was pocketing her money was a blow not because of the money but because of the lack of honesty, which even made her reevaluate her entire relationship. Fellow netizens were seemingly split into camps over this; they shared their two cents in the comments.
Some netizens believed that the boyfriend was in the wrong for doing what he did
Others, however, didn’t see the problem in the situation
