Babysitting is one of those things that sound easy until you’re actually doing it. One minute you think you’re getting paid to watch TV and eat snacks, and the next, you’re negotiating with a tiny dictator who refuses to sleep unless they get 12 bedtime stories.
Teens, especially, know the struggle—sometimes you volunteer for babysitting duty, and other times, it gets sneakily assigned to you, whether you signed up for it or not. Just like our Redditor, who got blamed for a babysitting disaster she didn’t even agree to in the first place.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:Babysitting can be good money, but when you’re tricked into being an unpaid nanny, the only thing you’re making is an escape plan
One 16-year-old gets punished by her dad for leaving her stepmom’s newborn baby alone, despite clearly stating she is not available to babysit
The teen has plans to meet her friends for a jog and tells her stepmom she won’t babysit, but the woman leaves her baby at home, assuming the teen will just obey her
The teen doesn’t know that the stepmom left the baby alone, but later checks the cameras and finds out her dad and stepbrother were at home
The teen gets blamed for the baby being left alone, hungry and crying, and is told she should be responsible enough to check every room before leaving the house
The OP (original poster) is a 16-year-old young lady just trying to live her best life, going on jogs with friends, soaking up some much-needed freedom, and most importantly, not playing babysitter. Her stepmom, however, had other plans for her. Instead of asking nicely, she just announced that the OP would be watching her newborn baby while she ran an “important errand.” No discussion, no compromise, just a royal decree.
But the OP, being a self-respecting teenager with actual plans, said “nope, not today.” The stepmom, pulling the classic “my house, my rules” card, insisted that the teen had basically no choice but to obey her. And because teenagers aren’t exactly known for their love of forced responsibilities, the OP did what any passive-aggressive teen would do—popped in her earbuds and went on a jog with her besties.
Here’s where things get next-level dumb: the stepmom actually left the baby at home, fully expecting the OP to just suddenly embrace her maternal instincts. Surprise, surprise, the OP didn’t, because, well, she said she wouldn’t. Fair enough.
Later that night, her dad called, furious that the baby had been left alone, crying, hungry, and in a full diaper. And instead of pointing fingers at, oh I don’t know, the adults who actually left the baby, he blamed his daughter.
Her 22-year-old stepbrother was home the entire time, gaming away. And dear old dad? He had also left the house after both the OP and the stepmom. The OP really had no idea the baby was being left behind. After all, she’s 16, of course she’s going to choose hanging out with friends over babysitting. If you know, you know.
So, why is she being blamed and punished for the fact that her stepmom left the baby at home, assuming the OP would just comply with her orders? Well, because some parents like to dump their responsibilities onto their kids, under the excuse of “family duty,” or, in other words, parentifying their kids.
To gain deeper insights into parentification,Wereached out toMegan Paterson, LMFT, a licensed therapist with years of experience, for some answers. She told us that parents often don’t realize they’re engaging in parentification. If they were aware of the weight they are placing on their children, they would likely stop.
We asked Paterson why some parents resort to parentification. She explained that this behavior usually stems from a lack of awareness, not a lack of love for the child. There are multiple reasons why parentification might occur, such as dysfunctional family dynamics, unresolved trauma, or mental health issues within the caregiving parent. Sometimes, external factors like financial struggles can contribute.
We wanted to know what the most common effects are on kids who experience parentification. Paterson shared that some children may seem to handle extra responsibilities well, with parents interpreting this as teaching responsibility. However, the emotional toll often includes the child growing up too quickly, missing out on important developmental opportunities, which is vital for learning and growth.
“Long-term effects on children include missing out on age-appropriate activities and developing co-dependency that may impact their choices in partnership in future relationships. Not having the ability or skills to apply boundaries or the ability to ask for help from others and taking it all on, which may result in burnout, depression, and/or anxiety later on in life,” Paterson explained.
We asked Paterson how parents can better balance responsibilities without putting too much on their kids. She told us that, if divorce is a factor contributing to parentification, attending co-parenting classes or workshops could help the family find a better balance. Additionally, relying on extended family members or support networks to share some of the responsibilities would ease the load on the children and ensure a healthier family dynamic.
So, let’s get one thing straight: if someone says “no” to babysitting, maybe, just maybe, don’t leave a helpless baby with them and assume they’ll change their mind. That’s not “teaching responsibility,” that’s just bad parenting.
What do you think of this story? Was the poster in the wrong here, or is this whole situation just an absolute parenting fail? Let us know in the comments below!
Netizens side with the teen, saying she is not a jerk for refusing to babysit for her stepmom last minute
