Not all marriages are created equal. Some end up being the fairy tale that many people envision. On the opposite end of the spectrum is a match made in hell, which needs no further explanation.
The involvement of children makes the situation more excruciating to endure, as this man had experienced. After going through a messy episode with his ex-wife and two kids, he had no choice but to distance himself from all of them.
Scroll through for this rollercoaster for a story, which can be quite a read.
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As he shared in a lengthy post online, it began with his young daughter, who made false accusations against him
The family drama that nearly ruined him forced the author to want nothing to do with his family
Family estrangements are often drawn out and triggered by a “final straw”
It’s never easy for anyone to cut ties with a family member, regardless of how toxic the relationship can get. Based on his account, the man appears to be a dedicated father who was forced to make a drastic decision for his own sake.
As Rutgers University professor Dr. Kristina Scharp tells the American Psychological Association, family estrangement is often triggered by a “final straw” moment.
In the same interview, clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten described the final straw moment as an “emphatic rupture.” It’s the realization that the problematic situation may never be resolved because of the belief that the person may never change.
In the story’s case, that moment could be when the children repeatedly made false yet serious allegations against their father, which apparently happened for two straight years.
What makes the situation more challenging for the author is the blame and shame he may endure for deciding to distance himself from his family.
“Parents who have initiated estrangement have very few [people] they can talk to who will show compassion and understanding,” University of West England lecturer Dr. Lucy Blake told the BBC in a 2022 interview.
Estrangements aren’t always final, and reconciliation is deemed common among parents and children in conflict. However, trying to mend things may not work, especially if the relationship has done more harm than good.
“People should not be made to feel guilty or ashamed because it is critical for their mental health to exclude a family member from their life,” Cornell University professor Dr. Karl Pillemer said in the same APA interview.
After what he went through, keeping distance may be the best solution for the author. If he is open to reconciliation, he can entertain the idea as his children grow older and become more aware of the damage their actions have caused.
The man provided more information in the comments
A few people sided with him, as some shared their advice
The man provided an update
Here, he clarified some details from his initial post
He also expressed sadness at how things turned out, with the holidays coming up
Once again, he answered reader questions to add more details
People didn’t hold back with their reactions
The man provided a second update
He had been exhausted physically, emotionally and mentally, and understandably so
People in the comments were kind of enough to show sympathy and offer advice
The author shared a third update
He shared a more promising turn of events, stating he began seeing someone new
The new relationship appeared to be the his sole source of happiness through the difficult time
He also went on to clarify more details from his previous posts
He then revealed that his mental health took a nosedive
He ended the post by expressing sheer frustration
Tbe author provided more details by answering reader questions
In came update number four
As he shared, the problem seemed to be worsening each time
He provided more information in the comments
Some commenters had strong reactions, as a few remained invested in the story
The man provided a fifth and final update
