There’s a lot that gets lost in translation between men and women. For ages, there has been talk about how we don’t understand each other, no matter how hard we try. Fights, misunderstandings, breakups, and divorces happen because of it, and it’s an inexhaustible topic for films, TV shows, books, songs, and conversations with friends.
In the quest to understand each other better, we sometimes ask the opposite gender online to tell us things they would never say to us out loud. This time is no different; we collected the most interesting answers from the thread where one netizen asked men: “If all men had to be brutally honest for 24 hours, what would women be shocked to learn?”
Some of the answers might anger women, others will be quite eye-opening. But one thing is true: these are real things some men experience and want to be talked about more. So, let’s see what they think and talk about it in the comments!
#1
Lip injections are f*****g stupid and ugly.
#2
That most men feel deeply lonely, touch-starved, and emotionally ignored, but we’ve learned to hide it because no one really asks how we’re doing.
#3
Those long fake eyelashes? They are not s**y. No guy has ever thought, “she’d be hot if she had ridiculously stupidly long eyelashes”.
#4
We often stay quiet about emotional pain because, far too often, it is turned into a weapon against us.
#5
We hate it when you mess with your face. If you’re 25, it’s ok to look 25. If you’re 37, it’s ok to look 37. If you’re 52, it’s ok to look 52. It’s ok to look your age.
Please stop with the crazy surgeries on your face; you are beautiful already.
#6
Have you gained some weight? Yeah. Are you fat? Yeah, a bit.
Do I care? No.
Are you still the most beautiful women on the face of the Earth to me? YES.
#7
Three things I’ve noticed pop up in not just my relationship, but the relationship of pretty much all the men I know.
1. We aren’t mind readers. Please just say what you want.
2. Most men are happy to do whatever project you want (assuming it’s within financial reason), but please don’t micro-manage while we work.
3. Think to yourself if you actually would like our opinion before you ask for it.
#8
How many of us are actually not OK.
#9
How under appreciated a lot of fathers feel today. When my wife is spoiled by the entire family on mother’s day. When I dedicate an expensive, lavish date for her and my daughter makes gifts and a card for her. Yet here I sit, alone at 12pm on yet another father’s day and haven’t even heard a word from either of them nor my mother who wanted to keep my daughter this weekend knowing it was father’s day weekend.
I know I can’t say anything about it, because I don’t want an argument and any appreciation afterwards wouldn’t be genuine. Being a father feels like a thankless and completely expected job despite how many deadbeats there are.
#10
Well, my wife would be pretty surprised to find out just how attractive I still find her. She’s still smokin’ but won’t take my word for it.
#11
I want to be loved for who I am, not for what I can provide.
#12
We are so starved of positive attention that a single compliment will stay with us for years.
#13
I forgot one, not brutal but…
When you’re walking home alone at night, and we are walking behind you in the same direction, 90% of men are conscious that is a very worrying/terrfying prospect for you. And we get stuck in a “Do I slow down to be further behind but risk makng this woman think I am trying to follow her? Or do I just try and overtake her to scurry off into the distance but scare the s**t out of this lady with my closing footsteps?”
If I can I just take a turn off my path and just add a minute or two to my walk home and f**k there’s another lady walking home this way!
It’s not fun to always feel like a threat, but I know that doesn’t compare to the absolutely justified feeling that you’re always at risk for simply living.
#14
Anything you try to solve/put on my plate/seriously discuss/or want to show me AS I’m walking in the house returning from work will annoy me. Just give me 15 minutes and I can then be present.
#15
How much we look past and don’t comment on just to keep things peaceful.
#16
“My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world” is not an exclusively-appearance-focused compliment.
Still the truth… “beautiful” just encapsulates a lot more than looks.
#17
“I love you with all my heart I just need you to leave me alone and don’t touch me for a moment”
“Please stop asking if I love you every 5 minutes my answer hasn’t changed trust me”
“Just cause I don’t express emotions as vividly as you do doesn’t mean I don’t have them”
“Think just for a moment if these roles were reversed how would you feel if I did that to you”.
#18
The hypocrisy.
If I sit down to play a game for 2 hours I’m a useless couch potato who never does anything.
If she’s mindlessly browsing Instagram or TikTok until her phone’s battery gives out, that’s A-Ok!
#19
That we are softer, more emotional and more human than you think.
#20
That we are legit sitting here thinking about nothing.
#21
Women, and other men I suppose, would be shocked to learn just how many men are a struggling mentally. I imagine the number of men struggling is higher than we can imagine.
#22
How attractive natural beauty is . No nips tucks. I want the cellulite and little belly. How beautiful the natural beauty is . Also how much we do miss you when you’re not around. Because we can’t admit that as men .
#23
How many of us feel unloved, unseen, and silently breaking, but too afraid to say it.
#24
When we legit compliment you on something, and you don’t believe us.
#25
Many guys frequently create elaborate scenarios in their heads where they are the hero.
#26
What we’re really looking at.
Sometimes, our eyes randomly land on your print shirt, tattoo, necklace, or whatever else you’ve got in-between your chin and navel, the reason we looked away was because we realized there are b***s there, and we 100% weren’t checking you out.
#27
That we don’t like to feel pressured to have s*x.
Whilst many of us have a high libido, it doesn’t automatically mean that we are f**k machines ready to go at any moment.
We might not be in the mental space, or have body insecurities, or just a bad day.
Consent goes both ways, and it seems like a man cannot say “no” to s*x without causing conflict in the relationship.
We are the same species, at the end of the day.
We also can feel Extremely lonely and touch starved sometimes.
#28
Please develop some hobbies & find something you’re truly passionate about. Don’t make me the center of your world—just as my life doesn’t revolve around you, yours shouldn’t revolve around me.
#29
We often find your long hairs in our buttcrack and are mystified as to how they ended up there.
#30
How honest they are the majority of the time.
I genuinely think some women would be astonished that we’re not playing mind games.
#31
Ok I’ve got a few:
– How a lot of men just aren’t that concerned with small inconveniences or issues
– Just how many women’s ‘guy friends’ secretly just want to sleep with them
– How many men (that they probably see on a daily basis) are struggling with their MH. Loneliness, feelings of inadequacy, feeling unattractive etc.
#32
Maybe not all men but for me….
We actually love to be in photos with you. We love to be posted on your social media. We love when you hug us from behind. We love being the little spoon when cuddling.
We lose all of that care and nurturing when we become men and it takes us back to times when we felt safe as a child. It makes us feel loved and secure.
And many of us tell you to stop it because we know that we have to be the manly man but inside…we love it.
#33
I know this is gonna sound like crybaby s**t, but how f*****g hard it is just to be a man sometimes. And I’m not that does not take away from how hard it is to be a woman, and the fears that come with that. And I’m a strong believer in the “men are afraid women will hurt their feelings. Women are afraid men will k**l them, and that’s a real statement. However, men are only men. We don’t have a choice. We are born what we are, we have a choice, not to be the sons of bitches that they’re afraid of and a good number of us try to and not enough of us try to stop the ones that don’t. But nonetheless, it is f*****g hard being a man And even in this statement, I have to acknowledge that I understand it’s even harder to be a woman, but it’s kind of like that saying first world problems yeah but I live in the first world, so my problems are my problems. They’re all I have and they are real to me that does not mean I don’t think a person in a Third World has a harder problem, but this is mine and it’s real.
#34
I think it would boil down to this:
Men’s lives are complicated enough already.
We dont care about “love” like a Pinterest board.
What we want is PEACE. Relief. Clarity. To go home and not have to read between the lines, decode, translate, calculate, walk on eggshells, wonder if we forgot something inconsequential etc.
#35
* We think about s*x, even with strangers, friends, colleagues, or people we have no intention of acting on it with. It’s not always romantic or emotional. It can be mechanical, objectifying, and random.
* Many men go years without being complimented meaningfully. A random “you smell good” from a woman in 2019 might still live rent-free in their brain.
* A lot of men are walking around with depression, loneliness, grief, father issues, childhood trauma buried under layers of humor, work, and p**n.
* We constantly compare ourselves: height, status, salary, muscles, p***s size, job title, car and are silently tortured by it.
* Men can be deeply in love with their partner and still be visually or sexually attracted to others. It doesn’t always mean disrespect, just biology. But yeah, it can be disturbing.
* Most men, especially in long-term partnerships, are quietly terrified of being “not enough.” As a provider, lover, partner, or father. And it eats them inside.
#36
I like listening to your stories, but please be more direct and stop going on immense tangents about every single person’s personal life to the point where I forget what you were even trying to tell me about.
#37
That a lot of us are just living our lives based on what we think is expected of us….from our families, from our significant others, from our friends, from society…
And we haven’t ever been honest with ourselves about who we really are; what our dreams, hopes, and desires are.
#38
That many things women think are cute we actually find tiring or exploitative, but tolerate because we don’t want to be alone.
And no, acting like a baby and expecting to be babied isn’t sweet, it’s infantile and we’d love it if you could just be an adult.
Also, just because we love you it doesn’t mean we should agree with whatever nonsense you demand or say or else face drama and accusations. You’re women, not some “can do no wrong” higher beings.
Yes, we want to watch p**n and fantasise about other women. Which has zero correlation with us cheating or wanting to cheat. Leave our thoughts alone and drool over Henry Cavill in peace, just don’t tell us about it.
There’s nothing that would make us want to end a relationship more than your controlling attitude and attempts to isolate us from our hobbies or friend circles. So if we do leave you after you’ve refused to listen for months or years, do understand that you had a hand in that, don’t just self-soothe in lying to yourself and saying that we were no good from the start and you needed to be even more strict.
When you age, accept it gracefully instead of forcing us to act like you are still at your peak physical form and no younger woman is a match for you. If we love you we don’t love you for just looks, so being wise and calm about your natural state is more appealing than making a fuss about it or injecting your face full of those god awful fillers that make you look like a bee attack survivor.
#39
The percentage of time that I really just want to be left alone to do my own thing.
#40
I dont have an opinion about 99% of things because I don’t care.
#41
How much pain some of us are in. You often hear oh hes sad, depressed or even s******l but sometimes even the later doesnt drill it in. Some of us are in so much emotional pain wanting to give up daily but continue on for significant others and parents.
#42
A phone call lasting more than 15 minutes is straight up t*****e most of the time.
#43
Your social media a*******n is unhealthy.
#44
Men don’t care about makeup, clothes or plastic surgery. Those are things that women do to compete with each other. A woman who is generally happy, in reasonable physical condition, has good hygiene, has her own interests, isn’t deeply in debt or addicted and we’re good. Men are simple creatures.
#45
No I do not like the deodorant that you bought me, and I don’t care that it was a dollar cheaper. I prefer the deodorant that I have always used and to me it’s worth spending a dollar more.
#46
I don’t want this to sound angry or misogynistic, because it’s certainly not that and I love women, but there’s a decent amount of women who think they are more interesting than they actually are and the only thing saving them is s*x. When it comes to getting to know them, their personalities are so dry and they show minimal effort. It’s like pulling teeth and they usually have this attitude to them where they feel like their presence alone is enough. I also believe this type of woman tends to have a hard time when they get older because, even if they’re still relatively attractive, their looks alone can no longer carry them through life.
I fear that social media is making a lot of egomaniacs that will struggle later in life because they have a false perception of reality. No one is special.
#47
I love you so god d**n much. With every fiber of my being.
But I wish you could make a decision on your own, without 5 other people chiming in to tell you what to do. It’s so codependent that I feel like they get off on controlling you.
You’re an adult. Make a decision. Life is scary.
I hope they pick the best life for you.
#48
“your workplace would be less toxic if you & the other ladies would stop being gossipy b*tches to each other”.
#49
Most women suck at dating and don’t put in nearly enough effort. Maybe it’s the same for guys. I’m not sure.
But g*****n the idea that women are good at relationships is b******t in my experience.
#50
I’m not mansplaining because you’re a woman. This is how I treat everybody.
#51
Your “mental load” is usually your own creation because of your own ego / anxiety.
#52
No I wouldn’t still love you if you were a worm. I’m not trying to be mean if your favourite dress looks unflattering. I’m thinking of nothing or I don’t really know what I’m thinking of. When my d**k is hard it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m h***y. The beef you have with your coworker is because you just can’t stand eachother. Deal with it.i don’t care if you smell a little bit we are at home. I’m not grossed out by your period.
#53
I’m heavily anxious, and have a strong desire to learn about myself, but I want to have free time to evolve myself with my friends but most of said friends aren’t the kind of people I see myself evolving with.
#54
How often men intentionally loose or back down to women in order to keep the peace and ultimately make her happy.
#55
While some people do have health issues and can’t reduce their weight, you are probably not one of them. You are just eating unhealthy, avoiding physical activity, not drinking water at all, eating at the wrong times and so on. Every time I bring this up, I am getting bombarded with “oh but I DO HAVE blah blah blah”. Yes, you do have that, but it’s not the real issue here and you know it, I know it, your friends know it, the scale knows it. It’s you, period.
#56
We hate drama and simple is better. Like I was thinking of building a man cave and bought a lazy boy recliner. Then realized thats all I needed. A comfortable chair with AC where I can rest after work.
#57
Please just stop talking, and let me enjoy the game in peace. Please. For the love of God.
#58
This whole comment section is a dumpster fire of people with real or perceived problems and mental health issues who’ve convinced themselves (or been convinced) that women as a whole are to blame/indifferent to their suffering.
I’ve been there when I was a teenager, I believed all the same stuff and had all the same anger and bitterness. You can’t solve all these problems immediately but you can at least try to remove yourselves from some of the situations that are upsetting you, change certain things about your life to push the needle the other way. Maybe the gym will work for you, maybe you’ll get a hobby painting or leave the terrible relationship or job. But I can PROMISE with absolute certainty that wallowing in this misery and self pity will do nothing other than make you and everyone around you feel even worse.
#59
How much self doubts and insecurities we have ourselves. The confident, brave face that we carry all the times hides so many deep turmoils that men are facing internally.
#60
I really am thinking about nothing important.
I don’t want alone time because I’m angry; I want to be alone because every moment I am with someone there is an expectation of my attention, money, time, effort, knowledge, and validation.
I know you bring up male friends amd coworkers to try and make me jealous; I don’t care unless you cross a line and then you ‘win’ by me leaving. If you knew how much women flirted with me you’d lose your mind, because I don’t think it’s possible for you to understand I’m not interested.
I really do like your butt. It’s amazing.
#61
Half the time we give advice, it’s just us trying to end the conversation faster. Most of the time a man is lying to you to protect your feelings. You cannot handle true honesty and our peace is more important.
We fantasize about being emotionally safe with you more than sexually dominant over you
A lot of us don’t want to date anymore. We’re tired of feeling disposable.
Some of us fear commitment not because we want options, but because we’ve never seen it done right.
Some women hate being objectified and at the same time objectify themselves calling it liberation and empowerment and blame men for being dogs. Freedom comes at a cost for everyone. Even us.
Yes, she is pretty than you. The whole point is that despite other beautiful women out there, he chose you. If you can’t handle it grow up
When you call men trash, useless, pigs, etc, the only ones that hear it are the ones that are trying to do better by everyone. The trashy men do not care because what they are doing works for them.
#62
That we haven’t been lying all this time. We really don’t care about the things you’re insecure about. We also don’t think about women as much as they think we do.
#63
Women say that men are bad listeners, its more like you over communicate about things we arent interested in, or cant contribute to. I work on active listening because I know my partner cares about me acknowledging every conversation about her day. She doesnt want me to fix her problems, just listen, so i do that now. It’s hard to do because it’s not eventful stuff and she doesnt want it resolved, I like to fix things and move on.
In my experience women are actually bad listeners, not because they don’t hear what we say, but because they cannot intake our information as-is. Men speak directly, we mean exactly what we say. Every girl i have dated would constantly twist what I say and expand it 2-3x into other meanings, or project their insecurities. It is infuriating to tell the truth and constantly have it twisted into falsehoods or drama. Just listen to exactly what we said, and understand the most basic meaning.
#64
That we dont enjoy countless calls just to talk about nothing. We value our time i know you miss us but we have things to do.
#65
That we always handle women with kid gloves.
If we talked to them the way the speak to us, we would probably end up in court.
#66
Most of us don’t want to deal with the whole courtship, weddings, ceremonial entourage and making things look “magical”. Doesn’t mean we don’t care about you, but it’s work. Most of us go with it to avoid drama and problems.
Many men do these things so you don’t start complaining.
If love is what you wanted, many men could love you. But you don’t only want love but also the theater and emotional choreography of love. The show, the picture, the gesture, the thrill, etc.
Anything short of *full* compliance with everything then means we’re emotionally undeveloped, unloving, selfish, etc.
#67
Jesus Christ the majority of these responses are a combination of horrific, alarming, concerning, and disgusting
Some of yall are genuinely struggling and deserve help and support
A lot of yall I’m convinced don’t actually like women considering the vile things you’re saying
Either way: therapy.
#68
Women can be exhausting to be around. Everything is centered around them and what they are feeling at any given second and their need to talk about it.
#69
We just want you to get to the f*****g point in a conversation.
#70
1. A brutal amount of us are s******l. It’s very likely that 25-50% of the young men in your circle are struggling at this very moment.
2. If a man is attracted to women, he cannot “just be friends” with one and not think about her sexually(especially if she’s attractive). However, men can learn to control themselves enough to not pursue anything beyond mutual friendship with a woman, regardless of their internal thoughts and desires. This is something fathers are supposed to teach their sons at a young age.
3. Many men find it difficult to express their emotions, but not for the reason you probably think.
Nowadays most women tell men they should be more vocal about their emotions and just open up to them. However, many of these same women are attracted to men with masculine qualities who they perceive to be mentally and emotionally strong. This subconscious attraction actually leads a good amount of women to loose attraction for a man if he becomes too emotional around her, as she begins to realize he is not the guy she thought he was. Many men have had their heart broken from a woman who lost interest after he began being too vulnerable around her.
4. Men are biologically programmed to crave success and reap the rewards of their efforts. This is why so many young men are addicted to video games, as many of them actually scratch this itch without the player having to put in the hard work in real life. Lots of younger guys probably don’t even realize it, but the longer a man goes without doing difficult things that he dislikes and being rewarded for it in some way, the more empty and broken he becomes.
5. The vast majority of men would absolutely have a multitude of female s*x partners if they could. It is almost a universally common trait found in most men to desire s*x with as many women as possible. If it was socially acceptable for them to do so, many men would have lots of girlfriends or wives simultaneously to satisfy their urge to sleep with different women. It is not uncommon for a man to want to f**k every new woman he meets.
6. The VAST majority of men are starved of attention, validation, and affection, even men with wives and children. This means men are actually less superficial than you probably think. You can make up for not looking a certain way by just complimenting a man and giving him lots of attention and making him feel important and loved. You would be surprised how many men fold to this.
#71
-The reason a man doesn’t ask anything from you is not because he doesn’t want anything. It’s because he knows that if he does, he will be shunned for it.
-Yes, s*x matters in a relationship and if he always has to beg, he will consider walking away.
#72
There tons of women, legions of them, who are so painfully boring and uninteresting.
#73
Your need to “vent” without seeking solutions is exhausting, tedious, and unpleasant to be around. If you aren’t trying to fix your problem, keep it to yourself.
#74
You’re not “performing emotional labour”, you’re just having emotions about something. Now I have to deal with the actual problem AND deal with your emotions about the problem. And the actual problem is always less trouble to deal with.
#75
“I just want you to listen, not try to solve everything” is just you trauma dumping your emotional stress on us so you don’t have to actually have any stressful conflict to address your problems. Hence such visceral reactions when it’s pointed out your problems could often be fixed if you actually took action. You completely ignore the emotional damage done to us being forced so sit by and just absorb all the hurt in the life of someone we love with out being even allowed to help. Think of a firefighter being made to watch a house with people inside burn down. He knows even if he can’t put the fire out all by himself he can help rescue some of the people, making things at least better. But instead he’s told he’s not there to fight the fire but just to watch, he’s just there to make someone feel better about the fire. No matter how much better that other person feels about the fire afterwards the trauma of not being able to help the people in the house stays with the firefighter.
#76
I am not yelling at you, I haven’t even raised my voice. it’s just that the truth hurts & I didn’t want to talk about it because you can’t handle it.
Don’t ask me whats wrong. Just distract me with some awesome s*x. I’ll get past whatever is bothering me.
I don’t want to go to the gym with you because I want a workout. I don’t like wasting my time on relationship stuff or having to be your trainer for the umpteenth time.
#77
It’s 2am. Honey, I heard a noise in the basement. Go check it out.
How about go f**k yourself.