Giving birth is no easy feat: it’s raw, exhausting, and life-changing all at once. But for some moms, the hardest part isn’t just the birth itself, it’s the bizarre things people feel the need to say afterward.
When someone on TikTok asked, “What’s the most unhinged thing someone said to you right after you gave birth?” moms did not hold back. The answers poured in, and they range from hilariously clueless to shockingly insensitive.
So if you’re curious about what not to say to a new mom or just need a laugh, keep reading. Some of these might make you cringe, others will make you chuckle, and all of them prove that sometimes people just really need to think before they speak.
#1
While I was being sick post c- section and nurse came over to take my sick bowl and said “see I bet you’re regretting that section now, thinking it was the easy way out” no you mutant I didn’t think being sliced and diced was going to be easy. You also told me I needed one for 10 weeks because my baby was breach
#2
‘how can you cope with such a fussy baby’….she was the easiest baby in the world, hardly ever cried, until she saw mil and she would loose her sh*t. shes not fussy, she just doesn’t like you.
#3
Not after birth, but during… I was pushing and a MALE doctor came into the room and told me to ‘quieten down and stop screaming’… sir, I’m pushing a baby out of my body
While these posts highlight what you definitely shouldn’t say or do during childbirth, let’s flip the script and talk about what can actually help. When it comes to supporting a woman through pregnancy and labor, a little preparation and thoughtfulness can go a long way. From learning what to expect to offering practical help, every small step can make this huge life event smoother and less stressful for everyone involved.
Kenneth Baker, M.D., chair of obstetrics and gynecology for St. Peter’s Health Partners in Albany, New York, explains, “The first step partners should take is to educate themselves on pregnancy and the changes that their partners will go through when they’re pregnant.” In other words, don’t just wing it: take time to read, ask questions, and really understand what your partner is experiencing both physically and emotionally.
#4
I’ve had four babies. Epidural with the first two after 32 plus hours of being in labour and an emergency and planned caesarean with the next two and my ex said I’ve technically not given birth once and I was useless because I didn’t just do it without pain relief and I was a failure xx
#5
Told my bf they were proud of him and not me like I didn’t just push a whole baby out
#6
I was 1 week postpartum, I was getting dressed when my ex came in, he looked at my stomach in pure disgust and said ‘is that always going to look like that?’
Morning sickness, hormonal shifts, and all those doctor visits aren’t just “her thing”; they’re yours to learn about, too. Grab a few good books, watch videos, and definitely sign up for childbirth classes together. The more you know, the less overwhelming the delivery room will feel when the big day arrives.
Make it a point to attend as many prenatal appointments as you can. Even if you’re just there to hold her hand or listen to the doctor, your presence shows you’re all in this together. It also gives you the chance to ask any questions directly and get the facts straight from the pros.
#7
Midwife told me my baby looked jaundice during our 3 day stay in hospital after birth. I explained to her that his dad is Nigerian and the baby isn’t jaundice to which she told me there is a difference between jaundice and melatonin. I said sorry the sleep hormone?? And she said ‘no what gives your skin colour, melatonin.’ I said ‘i really think you mean melanin not melatonin’, she told me i was wrong and did jaundice test anyway. Baby was not jaundice.
#8
I had the most horrific birth, ended up having to have an episiotomy, massive loss of blood – horrendous. Anyway next day midwife came in to look at my scar and literally gasped in horror and jumped back “OH MY GOODNESS LOOK AT THAT HAEMORRHOID!!” I was mortified and said yes probably because I was pushing for two hours… So if that wasn’t bad enough she went out to get two other midwives to come in and have a look, also gasped and recoiled in horror. 😫 Wish I could’ve throat punched them when my legs came back
#9
I was bedridden the entire 9 months, couldn’t eat, hospitalised multiple times with Hyperemsis and lost partial vision in my left eye due to the stress on my body. 4 weeks pp I was asked if I jealous of the attention baby was getting as I was used to being “centre of attention”…. WTAF.
Supporting a woman during labor isn’t a passive job; it’s one of the most important roles you’ll ever play. Learn the signs of labor ahead of time so you know what’s normal and when to head to the hospital. Her water might break, contractions will come in waves, and being prepared means you won’t be caught off guard when things ramp up fast.
#10
Midwife made a face and said ‘ugh he’s a ginger’ as if we don’t live in Scotland and myself and my partner have red tinges in our hair. She completely missed the huge port wine stain covering half his scalp. I’m a social worker and thankfully made sure it was noted before discharge.
#11
“Do you really need to eat that remember you need to lose the baby weight” I was 2 days post partum and I had hyperemesis for the whole 9 months and would sick up everything that I ate
#12
Had an emergency c-section, sepsis and a poorly baby in neonatal I hadn’t seen yet. Asked for help to get up so I can see him, got told “well you’ll be home tomorrow so best learn to do it yourself” did it myself and ripped my stitches open trying to get to my son
Don’t forget the little things, like packing a hospital bag together. Sure, you’ll need the basics like clothes and toiletries, but think about adding comfort items too: a favorite blanket, cozy socks, snacks, or even a playlist to help her relax during the wait.
#13
Not said, but did. (I forgive him now but boy was I mad) I hadn’t gone into labour, but one of my organs were necrotic and it was poisoning my blood and giving me sepsis. Cat 1 emergency c-section, 3 days in ICU, 2 in high dependency unit (met my son twice so far) all of a sudden handed my child, I can’t walk, can’t sit up at all by myself. Barely any assistance as is. My partner has to go home and get things sorted, decided he doesn’t want to come back that night. So he leaves me completely alone, and vulnerable, unable to walk properly, unable to sit up properly, to look after my son who’s 4 weeks early, I can barely hold. The next day when he comes back, he proceeded to brag about getting to sleep in a proper bed. I went off on him as I’m highly emotional and in a lot of pain, he stayed the rest of the time I was in hospital. 11 days in total
#14
“Can you get off the bed so we can get a picture with the baby”
#15
My mother in law came round and we caught her kicking the moses basket trying to wake my baby up
One of the most powerful things you can do? Offer constant emotional support. Be the calm voice when things get intense, hold her hand, remind her how strong she is, and advocate for what she needs. If you’re unsure about anything, ask the medical team; there are no silly questions when it comes to your baby and your partner’s well-being.
#16
Baby had jaundice and the nurse told me it’s my fault
#17
I had an emergency c-section at 37 weeks due to my baby’s heart rate declining and my blood pressure dropping (i was planning on having an unmediated birth if it was possible). When my uncle met my baby for the first time (2 weeks after my baby was born), he tried to upset/embarrass me by saying ‘what happened to you wanting an unmediated birth? I knew you couldn’t do it after all’ (and then proceeded to laugh at me)… like SORRY i had to have an emergency c-section!
#18
My ‘auntie’ called me “fat and dirty” when I was 4 days postpartum from having an emergency C-Section (she came over unannounced) and said that I was rude for not offering her a cup of tea (I couldn’t walk)
Practical help matters, too. Move things out of the way at home, stock up on her favorite snacks for a quick mood boost, and even tiny gestures like these can lighten her load and show her she’s loved.
One more thing, partners often forget? Know your own limitations, too. It’s easy to think you have to do everything perfectly, but sometimes the best support means knowing when to step back and let the professionals guide you both. If you feel overwhelmed or unsure, speak up, don’t try to fake it. Doctors and nurses are there for both of you, and they’d rather you ask questions than stay silent.
#19
It’s not as bad as some at all. But I had an awful birth with my first baby.My FIL came to visit he had sat in his chair for 2 mins tops and sighed and said ‘A Girl… I don’t know what to do with Girls’ my reply was ‘ Ohh well it’s a good job she’s not coming home with YOU then isn’t it.’ I was fuming as if a woman wanted to hear that after an awful birth… I could have throat punched him then and there. My SIL also said that my 1st baby was uglier then my 2nd
#20
I had just been moved to a ward and they put the blanket over bubs face so I pressed the buzzer and the women came charging in and said ‘we can’t look after the baby for you’ all I wanted was them to take the blanket off her face.. I had just had a c section so I couldn’t get to her ..
#21
‘You want a baby brother or sister don’t you? Tell mummy and daddy to start planning a second!’ -My partners Nan, meeting her 5 day old great grandson for the first time, after it took us 14 months to conceive him.
Most importantly, don’t assume, ask. Check in with your partner often and find out exactly what she wants or needs in the moment. One birth is not like another, so clear communication is everything. And whatever you do, skip the judgment or unsolicited advice.
#22
When my daughter was born, she had blonde hair and it was mixed with a bit of blood so looked gingery (which is fine, I didn’t care), my ex sat and googled whether 2 blonde people could have a ginger baby, he then told me he’d googled it whilst laughing.. all whilst I was sat being stitched up after a traumatic birth
#23
I was in labour for 36 hours, almost died, didn’t sleep for two days… my mil came to my hospital room half an hour after I got there with 5 of her work friends. Woke my baby up when I finally put her to sleep. The first thing they said was “You look so tired, you look awful”… like mam please leave
#24
“Oh you’ve still got your belly” I had given birth 2 days before
At the end of the day, being truly present, physically, emotionally, and mentally,is what makes all the difference. Childbirth is no joke, but with a kind, patient, supportive partner by her side, a woman can feel stronger, safer, and more cared for during one of the biggest days of her life.
#25
I had just walked for the first time to the toilet 12 hours after a c section and blood transfusion and a male doctor saw me struggling and said ‘can I ask what you’re struggling with why are you in so much pain?’ Safe to say I told the midwives to never let that man near me again
#26
MIL came to meet our son, less than 24 hours after he was born, looked my partner dead in the eyes and said: “Are you sure you had anything to do with the creation of this child? Because he looks nothing like you.”
#27
That I was lazy and a bad mom for not taking my baby for a walk around town in the winter time, girl it was storming and raining and I had post partum depression
Well, which one of these posts really made you pause and think twice? Have you ever heard someone say something this unhinged right after childbirth, or maybe you’ve accidentally said something yourself? We’d love to hear your experience. Share your story below!
#28
‘You should have asked for a tummy tuck while they were there, I would have’
#29
My son got stuck. His grandmother, once he was born and had been checked over said “that’s the worst thing I’ve ever been through in my life”. I’m sorry, was it your birth canal he was just ripped from?!
#30
A woman asked when the baby was due, as I was holding the baby I had already given birth to 🤦♀️I was like “This is it, there’s no one else coming”
#31
When I struggled to breastfeed my newborn who had jaundice and was sleepy, the nursing instructor told me “i think you don’t want to nurse and your body responds to your thoughts”
#32
not the most unhinged but “you need to stop holding her whilst shes sleeping or you’ll never be able to put her down, she wont sleep through the night” *same person not even 5 seconds after proceeds to pick sleeping baby up out of her moses basket*
#33
I told my mum I was struggling mentally and she told me to ring my midwife because she was out for lunch with her friends
#34
A midwife told me i was useless because I wasn’t waking up to my son during the night. Turns out I had lost a severe amount of blood during labour & needed 2 blood transfusions they only found out 2 days later!
#35
I have just had my baby 10 days ago and one of my dads friends went ‘oh hes tiny, how heavy was he?’ So i said ‘6lb 1oz’. His response was ‘oh thats small considering you were MASSIVE’. Nearly threw myself across the table
#36
2 days after birth “you’ve let yourself go”
#37
My mother in law arrived the hospital 3 hours after (uninvited and I’d said no) and said right no more kids now, I don’t want to be here again. She made me try to get an aborti0n every single time I announced.
#38
A midwife helped me feed my baby… via NG tube and said “I’m doing your job for you”. Phenomenal sentence considering my twins were born at 29 weeks and in incubators
#39
Midwife tried telling me off for letting my husband hold our son while I went to the toilet… ” that baby needs keeping warm” obviously expected me to sit and wet myself
#40
My fourth C-section which started with my inside section scar tearing and full blown life or death bleeding MIL came to visit and said urgh that bed is covered in blood that’s disgusting and then looked at me and said and you.
#41
Not bad but very funny and embarrassing! I had a very painful and traumatic experience. Lost a lot of blood, was kept in for four days. When my father in law came to meet bub my peri bottle was on the side. He went over and used it to wash his hands before he held her 🤣😮🫠 I was so embarrassed and knew he would be so didn’t say anything then my sister in law burst out laughing and explained! We both wanted to die
#42
One of my sons was quite large when born..11lb 6oz…but was very bruised and a little swollen around his head and face…One of the other mothers Mum/grandmother was visiting and took it upon herself to go around looking at all the other mothers babys…When she came to my baby she remarked on the size of him and then asked if his daddy was a foreigner (poc)..My Irish husband who was also visiting me and his newborn son was neither amused or impressed
#43
“Let me know when you’ve had him, so I can block you on social media because I don’t want to see anything” – My sons father who broke up with me a month before I had my son because they “didn’t want to be a dad” (side note we co-parent now and they’re a great parent)
#44
Wasn’t after birth but during birth they wanted to put the clip on my baby’s head and i was in a lot of pain so told them to stop and the midwife said to me aww a baby having a baby
#45
a doctor was doing a check up on my csection wound and went ‘he better love you forever, look at your stretch marks’
#46
My mother in law told me that I should let my husband take a well deserved nap because he looked exhausted and needed a break after I just spent 4 days in labour and 2.5 hour pushing a baby out unmediated. She also asked if he wanted his eyebrows rubbed
#47
I was worried about losing my milk supply because i was barely eating and she told me women in africa successfully breastfeed with very little food.. Like what? What kind of answer is that
#48
‘Let me try and soothe her for you’… step away or I will throat punch you
#49
I’m not sure because when I was postpartum my partner cried because he loved my pregnant body
#50
My MIL said to me whne my husband wasnt with us- “oh he doesnt look like u at ALL! He has black har, you have like red/Brow-ish, och he just look only like hes daddy” My har was coloured and we have gone NO contact with her for over 2 yrs now.
#51
“Awww are you upset you didn’t have a boy, you can always try again”
#52
I was called selfish for breastfeeding
#53
Mines wasn’t birth but pregnancy, 8 week on, mum announces it to all her friends, without telling me, I start getting congratulated, confront mum, she tells me ‘oh those hormones are getting you good’ proceeds to tell me I’m overreacting and she’s excited and that it’s her news too! (10 years later and still won’t admit she was wrong) And also found out she’s rung 3 people to tell them before the 5 min drive to tell the other grandmother! Safe to say that after that any other pregnancy she was the last to know!
#54
I had preaclamsia but hospital wouldn’t listen anyway a nurse weighed me just before inducing me and she said step off the scales and back on there’s no way you’ve gained that much weight although you do look a bit heavy let’s hope the baby is big and you’ve not ate to much
#55
‘It’s not your fault it’s mummy’s fault’ (from a midwife to my baby whilst I had tears running down my face trying so hard to breastfeed)
#56
I had to have an emergency c section with my first born, and somebody said ” oh, so you didnt go thru any pain then, lucky you!
#57
My FIL told me I needed to go back to the gym 2 weeks after my C-section
#58
I was made to make everyone in my family cups of tea & stand around take photos of them holding my newborn the day after having him. Nobody allowed me to sit down for the first 45 mins
#59
My baby had a stork mark on her forehead and my “friend” said to me “aww are you not gutted she’s not perfect”
#60
Midwife came in said if u got the hospital 5 minutes later the baby wouldn’t of made it. I had an emergency csection after buzzing them over and over saying something was wrong
#61
“if I didn’t pick up the baby when it was crying you would have gotten post-partum depression” -mother in law (mind you I did have PPD so)
#62
‘You can’t be discharged until you’ve learnt how to breastfeed, expressing is not an option, he needs to latch’ as I was expressing from the pump THEY PROVIDED ME WITH!!!
#63
after having the C-section the doctor said oh your best start exercising to lose the weight you’ve put on
#64
Someone had brought me a balloon, that night was hallucinating experiencing post partum psychosis and all the midwife could do was keep telling me off about how baloons aren’t allowed on the ward
#65
she SHOUTED at me that I fell asleep while breastfeeding after being awake for 36 hours straight and being in labour or 24 of that 🙃 she did apologise once she realised
#66
My MIL said to my baby “oh mummy isn’t giving you enough milk” because he was crying. My baby had lost a lot of weight due to a bad tongue tie and was struggling to feed. Could give multiple examples
#67
I’ve been told “it wasn’t a real birth though was it, you couldn’t do your job as a woman” when I had an emergency c section at 32 weeksbecause me and my baby nearly died 🙄 he spent 5 weeks in intensive care before coming home…
#68
The moment I’d been handed my 3rd baby after my c-section (still had my innards hanging out) ‘do you think you’ll have another or are you done now’
#69
my babies dad came to the ward 2 hours after I gave birth took my daughter out my arms and told me I looked like shit like I had just gone through the most painful thing a woman could do
#70
I was told to stop acting like I had 15 kids just because I didn’t want my 4 week old baby to be given water because it’s not good for him.
#71
“You gotta stop pressing your buzzer, we’re busy” ma’am I am BEDBOUND I can’t even reach my baby
#72
Midwife said my stretch marks were HUGE and looked like a tree… genuinely I hardly have any stretch marks ????
#73
I had “attachment issues to baby” and “didn’t want her” I had leaking spinal fluid and physically couldn’t sit up to hold her. That was a midwife
#74
“when are you having a second? I hope it’s a girl!” my toxic mother when I was 3 weeks postpartum with PND
#75
I got an argument started with me the day after having an emergency c section because I didn’t “ask how the family were”
#76
My partners parents keep telling me they know what to do with kids they had 2 .. because my 2nd son was born emergency c section and has colic,reflux,witching hour n now teething he’s 3 months so he’s slowly easing ish I said don’t mind people holding him but if you feed him I will show you how so it don’t cause him pain and please make sure you wind him well .. the answer I got is none of those conditions exist im making excuses so I’m stopping them from holding the baby. And my first son is autistic/ADHD apparently even though I’ve had it confirmed by a profession health person that’s also made up and don’t exist he’s just a happy child lol 😂 also when my 3 month old screams the house down I get told “yeah babies do that just deal with it” unfortunately I get it all the time
#77
I had a traumatic birth with my first , 40 stitches. my sister who was my birth partner for her said ( and still tells people now 10 years later ) I was vile and dramatic and should of just had the baby and got on with it. I’ve had medical personal tell me since I should of sued the hospital
#78
a new mama once went in a mood with me because I asked how she was recovering from her c-section before asking about the baby lol girl I just met this baby I’ve known you for months tf ?
#79
got told to stop complaining about the pain i was in so i could get out of there sooner (i was recovering from a 30 hour back and front labour , epidural and spinal block, whilst having antibiotics and 3 blood bags transfusions )
#80
During birth my midwife said to me after me crying in pain from contractions (first child) “aw honey we’re all allergic to pain aren’t we? You made the baby so you got to suck it up” I was ready for war
#81
Omg look at your stretch marks from the baby dads mum soon as she walked in the room technically speaking
#82
Everyone hates me for not giving my baby sugar
#83
‘Babies cry’ then proceeds not to hand my baby back to me