Ever been scolded for something your body does on autopilot? Like, imagine being penalized for blinking or sneezing. These are biological necessities, not personality flaws, right?
Well, today’s Original Poster’s (OP) fiancé, in fact, believed yawning was a personality flaw. However, she didn’t expect it to trigger such a strong reaction from him on one particular morning.
More info: Reddit
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The author shared that her fiancé regularly criticizes her for yawning, calling it “unladylike” and “lazy”
One morning, while half-asleep and facing away from him, she yawned, and he nudged her twice, accidentally hitting her spine
Annoyed and in pain, she snapped at him, pulled the sheet off him, and left the room
Hours later, they were both awake but not speaking, and she began to question whether her reaction was too harsh
The OP started by explaining that her fiancé has a strange intolerance for yawning. According to him, it’s “unladylike”, lazy-sounding, rude, and anytime she yawns, he reacts by groaning, nudging, or scolding her.
One morning, while still half-asleep, she yawned quietly while facing away from him. In response, he elbowed her twice, right in the spine. It wasn’t aggressive, and he wore a sleep mask, so she acknowledged he likely didn’t know where he was hitting. But since he’s over 6’5″ and very muscular, the jab really hurt.
Already in a grumpy morning mood, she let him know how it hurt and then yanked the sheet off the bed before storming out. However, three hours later, after they were both awake, they hadn’t spoken a word to each other, which left her wondering if she had overreacted or if this was a bigger deal than she initially thought.
To her credit and much to the concern of netizens, she noted that her fiancé had never been intentionally hurtful.
Yawning is an involuntary reflex, meaning people don’t have conscious control over when or how it happens. Cleveland Clinic affirms that even attempting to suppress a yawn can actually make the urge even stronger, and while it’s possible to slightly modify how one yawns (like keeping the mouth closed), completely stopping it isn’t possible once the reflex kicks in.
Based on this explanation, one might think it unreasonable to be upset at a person for yawning. However, WebMD provides another perspective. They highlight a condition called misophonia, in which certain everyday sounds trigger intense emotional reactions, such as anger, irritation, panic, or even the overwhelming urge to escape the situation.
These sounds, often harmless to most people, can feel unbearable to someone with misophonia. It’s commonly referred to as Selective Sound Sensitivity Syndrome, and those affected often describe it as a sound that “drive you crazy”. They highlight sounds like a person chewing, yawning, clearing their throat, sniffing, clicking a pen, among many others, are triggers.
Seeing as the situation led to conflict between the OP and her fiancé, Lyra Health acknowledges that it is normal. A common source of conflict can stem from a living situation, where small, everyday habits, like noises or routines, can become major irritants.
To resolve these tensions, they recommend avoiding harmful behaviors like stonewalling. Instead, couples should focus on clear communication, staying curious about each other’s perspectives, setting ground rules, and being willing to own their part in the issue.
Netizens were disapproving of the fiancé’s behavior, with many calling it a red flag. They also suggested he may indeed have misophonia, but agreed that using “unladylike” as a reason to police a natural bodily function is deeply problematic.
What would you do if you were in the OP’s shoes? Would this be a dealbreaker for you, or something you’d try to work through with your partner? We would love to know your thoughts!
Much to the concerns of netizens, the author clarified that her fiancé never treated her poorly outside of this incident
