Emotional intelligence, kindness, and thoughtfulness are underrated. They’re all features that mature adults ought to have. However, the reality is that they’re pretty rare. So, when you meet a person who embodies those traits, they really stand out from the crowd.
In a thoroughly wholesome AskReddit thread, women shared the things that men have done that genuinely surprised them. In the best way possible! Scroll down to read their stories. And we hope you’re all taking notes. Positive vibes only!
#1
I had a colleague who was absolutely rabid about credit going to where it was deserved. If someone (usually a woman) came up with an idea in a meeting and it was ignored for ten minutes until a man brought it up again, the next thing that would happen would be him reminding the room that Jenny said it first. Every time.
#2
My friends and I were attending a wedding and were all staying in a big Airbnb. While we were getting ready doing hair/makeup, one of the guys in the group steamed his fiance’s dress and then went room-to-room to pickup and steam all the other women’s dresses. He then delivered the dresses back to each room a few minutes later. He said he noticed his fiance forgot to pack the steamer, so he put it in his suitcase because he had extra space. Once he warmed the steamer up for her dress, he figured he’d steam all the dresses since he had extra time.
When we attended steamer couple’s wedding later that year, another boyfriend in the group Airbnb steamed all the dresses so it’s become a fun friend group tradition.
#3
When my husband and I first started dating, we went out to dinner. It was raining outside and there was a homeless man seeking shelter in the front entrance. People were laughing and being mean to him, and my (then boyfriend) invited him to sit with us and order whatever he wanted from the menu and bought his dinner. Knew I wanted to marry him that night. The nice man gave us random trinkets from his shopping cart and we still have them to this day.
As per the BBC, traits like agreeableness, extroversion, and intelligence are seen as more attractive than just physical looks.
Broadly speaking, emotionally intelligent and mature adults understand that their emotions are separate from their identity. PsychCentral points out that there is a big difference between calling yourself an ‘angry person’ and a person who sometimes experiences anger.
Emotional maturity also means that you take responsibility for your emotions. You don’t blame other people for how you feel. What’s more, being mature means that you take an interest in others’ needs and emotions. You can also receive feedback without getting argumentative or defensive. It’s all about staying in control and being calm, cool, and collected.
#4
I had a rough life growing up and it was still rough when I met him. Friends had fallen away and were off to their own lives. I was working in a call center. I was working tripple/double shifts to survive in my apartment alone. My family isn’t even a question on the table. I had just been alone for a long time.
I met this guy on a dating app. I had been on a ton of awful dates as one does when trying to find your person on an app. But this one guy I saw had these pics of him in a hat way too small for his head and a couple of other photos I found endearing. We messaged for a long time, and it wasn’t hollow conversations. Real conversations, that weren’t ended in one worded replies. After some time and me giving up on dating for a bit, I deleted my app/account. But I just.. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. So a few weeks later, I made the account again and found him. We planned a date that week.
He showed up to our first date with a small gift bag. Inside was a small 3-d printed dino skull. He stood there in the sunset that evening telling me that he didn’t know if I would like him (aka continue to see and date him) should my birthday come in a month, and he wanted to give me a birthday present now just in case.
He remembered my birthday. He remembered every detail from our conversations. He remembered I said i loved dinosaurs. He made me cry that night as I hadn’t gotten a gift from anyone in a very very very long time. It was given with love.
He’s my husband. 7yrs happy and going on till the end of time 🩵.
#5
Changed his opinion on something when given evidence to the contrary to his original beliefs. He’s one of the most thoughtful people I’ve ever met. Genuinely listens to people and actually weighs the things people say to him. Never just dismisses people without deeply considering their words and their perspective.
I can’t wait to marry him. 🥰.
#6
My little brother keeps tampons, pads & ibuprofen in his glovebox just in case a girl might need it one day.
When you have high emotional intelligence, not only can you communicate what your emotions are, but you can also express them (e.g., anger) without harming others. You know how to regulate your emotions and can experience them without allowing them to take control of you.
According to Verywell Mind, emotionally intelligent adults can let go of mistakes, are confident, and accept themselves (and others) for who they are. They can also identify and describe what they and other people are feeling. What’s more, they’re also keenly aware of their strengths, as well as their weaknesses.
These adults are also empathetic, sensitive, embrace personal responsibility, are curious about the world, and aren’t scared of change. They’re also good at managing and regulating their emotions in difficult and tense situations.
#7
My current partner never got the chance to meet my dad, who passed away several years before we started dating. I woke up around 11 on a Saturday morning in January to him putting a coffee on my nightstand that he had just picked up from the Dunkin across the street. I noticed when he kissed me that his nose and hands were ice-cold, and as it turns out, that was because he had de-iced, shoveled, and salted my entire driveway while I slept. On its own, braving the Boston winter cold to do that for me would be sweet enough – but my partner also knows that my dad died after a fall on an unsalted driveway. He got into bed with me and wrapped me in his arms and said “I don’t want to make you sad by bringing it up, but just know that whenever I see ice, I think about your dad. I’ll always make sure your driveway is safe.” I don’t really know what I believe, but I do genuinely think that my dad was looking out for me the day I met my partner.
#8
I grew up in an environment where arguments were loud – shouting to get a point across. So it was something I thought was the norm. My first argument with my boyfriend (now husband) was very mature and he never once yelled. He was empathetic and heard me out, and put his points across calmly, without making me feel bad. We ended up having a constructive conversation and resolved it calmly. And got ice cream after. 4 years later, he’s still never once yelled at me.
I also don’t yell but that’s because I’m a crier.
#9
When a guy *does things* and doesn’t expect women to fuss over them. They make a mess, they clean it. They are hungry, they start cooking. They notice something needs fixing they get on with it wether or not it is a “masculine” job. And they don’t expect praise for it. Like it’s just common sense to them, you know what I mean?
My theory is these people were raised by single parents and haven’t had that “you boys watch the game while we cook dinner” type of experience.
Like anything else, emotional intelligence is a skill. You can improve and hone it with experience. If you want to practice yours, you can:
Have empathy for others;Develop your active listening skills;Accept criticism;Say ‘no’ when you need to;Take responsibility for your actions;Move on after making a mistake;Share your feelings with others;Solve your problems in a way that works for everyone;Be less judgmental of others;Try to understand why you do the things that you do. #10
This was a coworker, not a romantic interest. But, ordered me flowers on behalf of the company for an event and had specifically instructed the florist to make sure they were non-toxic to cats so I could take them home. Just him remembering that I had a cat and putting two and two together in that way was way more thoughtful than most dudes trying to date me ever were, really blew me away.
#11
My ex and I are still great friends. He lives in the same city as my mom, who lives alone and has no family in town, as all of us kids and grandkids live out of state. He’ll check in on her and drop her off jigsaw puzzles, which she loves, juice, fruits and vegetables. He may have been a s****y boyfriend, but I appreciate the hell out of him for these gestures.
#12
I was 17, went out with a fake ID, started talking to a considerably older guy. Naturally I attributed his interest to my maturity, sophistication, and poise beyond my years.
When he stepped away from me for a minute, another man – total stranger – approached just long enough to tell me, “You’re obviously not old enough to be here. That guy you’re talking to is not a good guy. You should go home. I’ll call you a cab if you need one.”
The creep came back, and as soon as I started showing hesitation about him, he became incredibly pushy, trying to get me to go somewhere alone with him. I insisted on getting a cab, and he tried to get me to tell him my address “to tell the driver.” I ducked him and got in the cab.
I’ll never know exactly what that stranger saved me from that night, but it wasn’t going to be good. I don’t even remember his face, but I still think about him sometimes.
Dear Pandas, which of these stories impressed you and made you smile the most? What are the things that your partner, friend, relative, or anyone else you know has done that genuinely made them stand out, in a positive way?
How emotionally mature and intelligent do you think you are? Is there any room for improvement? Let us know!
#13
He noticed what I liked as we started hanging out, and then kept those things on hand at his house.
It’s like a magic drink/snack/movie/game portal every time I visit.
#14
We had been dating long distance for less than a year when I got diagnosed with stage 4 blood cancer – he dropped everything and flew down to take care of me until I finished my treatment. We are now married and I have been in remission for 3 years. I did not know how common it is for men to leave their partners during a health crisis.
#15
The first time my now husband came over to my apartment, he was telling me a story and while he was talking, I nonchalantly held my cat’s tail (who was sitting in his lap at the time) near his mouth like a microphone. He stopped telling his story, tapped the top of the cat’s tail like a mic and said “testing…one, two…*tap* testing…” and continued telling his story into the cat’s tail like he was talking into a microphone. That’s when I knew.
#16
My bf was at home, and I was at the University. Probably a 20 min walk. I called him to say that I would be late to see him because I forgot my umbrella and it was raining pretty hard so I was going to wait till it died down a bit. Next thing I know, he shows up, umbrella in hand. I felt like I was in a romcom.
#17
Reacting calmly to someone else being aggressive. In situations that could have turned into unnecessary confrontation with others, even physical, it’s very valuable to trust someone is not gonna be easily provoked and will actually help deescalate a situation.
#18
Asking for consent before touching me. Really appreciate that, I hate how so many people think that’s an awkward thing to do.
#19
I married my husband because he is the only man I have ever met who has ever apologized to me and meant it. Not warped it into, “sorry you feel that way” or any BS like that. I can work through any problem with him because he is not afraid to admit when he is wrong and we face the problem together, not bash egos.
I was not that way when we met, but he allowed me to learn to be vulnerable and apologize when I am wrong.
#20
He stood up to my a*****e parents and defended me when no one else would.
#21
Not my spouse, but just a friend I have huge respect for, because I think it’s important to include ways men can stand out in contexts that aren’t romantic!
He always makes sure everyone in a group feels comfortable and included, even people who are a little more shy or new to a group. I knew we could be friends when we met because of how respectful and thoughtful he was toward other people and everyone in our friend group feels the same way. He sets the tone for interactions and will always gently rebuke if someone says or does something not kind, sexist, off-color, etc. He holds people accountable to be good to one another and has created an atmosphere in our friend group that we all feel proud of and work to maintain.
#22
My now-husband got up at 7:30 every day our last semester to have breakfast in the cafeteria with me. He didn’t have class until 10. He doesn’t eat breakfast. We weren’t even dating yet.
#23
I had to tell him how something he’d done had been harmful to me. Took it on like a champ, apologised and was clearly remorseful but not in a histrionic way that made me feel uncomfortable. He never did it again and it was all good, if anything he was like, wow thanks for telling me because that’s made me a better person. Just all round good vibes.
#24
He mentioned alternative contraceptives for men by himself in a conversation and how unfair it is that there’s the pill for women but not men and that the financial aspects are pretty unfair.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but most men I met never had a single thought about preventing pregnancy besides that it’s a ‘womens job’.
He’s my boyfriend now.
#25
My ex and I approached a busy intersection where a man’s truck had broken down in the middle. Without hesitation, he put our car in park and jumped out to help push the man’s truck. No one else got out to help.
We lived in a big city where most people keep to themselves. He was different. He befriended a homeless man with a dog who occupied the corner of his workplace and became concerned when he stopped showing up.
#26
When he tries to help someone everyone else is ignoring.
anonymous:
I feel like I got a winner when I see my SO give up her seat on the subway to an old lady. It’s amazing how few people do that.
#27
When my now-husband and I had been dating a couple of months, it somehow came up that the house I was renting didn’t have any carbon monoxide detectors. He didn’t like that, and said he was going to get one and install it for me. I was like, “Okay, sure,” and promptly forgot about it.
And then the next week (we lived about an hour and a half apart and only saw each other on weekends) he showed up with two and installed them before we went to dinner. It wasn’t just that he cared about my safety, it was that he said he was going to do something and then did it at the first opportunity. I’ve had a fair amount of people in my life who promise a lot but never deliver, so the fact that he did, well, that meant a lot.
A bit later, we were starting to get more serious, and he had gotten a new job after recently being laid off. He was talking about his future and that he might sell his house and buy a new one in a year or two, and I said, “Oh, what would you be looking for?” He replied, “Well, if we’re still together, hopefully we’d be ready to live together, so if you still have the same job, something halfway between our current places so neither of us has a terrible commute. And I figure you won’t want all of my WOW stuff displayed in the living room like it is now, so I’ll need a man cave. And if I have a space that’s all mine like that, it’s only fair that you do too, so there should be a room you can turn into a craft room or a library or whatever you want.”
I was BLOWN AWAY. No one had ever shown me such consideration and thoughtfulness like that, factored me into their plans without prompting and actually thinking about what I might want. I told him I loved him for the first time two weeks later.
And yes, our house has both a man cave for him and a library for me.
#28
When they are very kind to animals, it’s so sweet and tells you a lot about a person whom you might not know well yet.
#29
My now husband after a few weeks of dating showed up with a journal he’d picked out. I mentioned in passing I liked writing. It was just a nice gesture. He saw it, thought of me and handed it to me without fanfare as he picked me up for dinner. It was the listening, the thoughtfulness specifically for my interest, and the modest way he did it where he didn’t need me to make a big deal about his gesture. It was a sign he’d be interested in me and thoughtful in small ways, I thought. 20 years in, I was right and it’s has held true.
#30
A guy made a pass at me at a coffee shop. I politely declined. He said something like “ok well thanks anyways, you have a great night”(with a smile) and then turned around and started to walk off. He didn’t call me a b***h or insinuate i was ugly or get angry. No grumbling. No pissing. No moaning.
He got about 5 feet from me before I went and asked him for his number. It was such a shock that I had to see what else he had to offer, even if he wasn’t really my type. We didn’t click but I sent every girl I thought he’d like his direction after that.
#31
My now-husband always did whatever he said he was going to do. He called when he said he’d call. He showed up at whatever time he said he would. Anything he told me, I could rely on it. A shockingly high number of the men I’d dated could not be relied on to do the simplest things.
We’ve been together nearly 33 years, almost 31 married, and he’s still that way.
#32
My wife says it was the moment I paid $91 for emergency vet treatment of her cat at a time neither of us had any money, but I had a credit card. Cat would have died.
In about 1984.
Married almost 39 years now.
#33
It’s a tiny thing compared to some, but when I asked him not to use some words when talking with me (like refer to anything as b***h or b****y, etc), he just said ok and never used them again. He didn’t argue how it’s just a word and I’m too sensitive, just accepted it.
#34
The first time we disagreed, we attacked the problem instead of each other. It was the first “fight” I ever had with anyone where I didn’t feel defensive or scared or need to scream/be mean. It didn’t feel like one of us had to be right and the other would be wrong.
He was calm, receptive, listened to understand me, validated my feelings while brainstorming solutions to the problem. I was so shocked, I didn’t know this was an option. I can get ilys in the middle of an argument?????
Now I’m excited to be my true self, share my true thoughts and opinions and have lots of “arguments” with my boyfriend.
#35
Every time we walk in a place he’s been before the workers smile when they see him and remember him joyfully.
711, Subway, literally anywhere we go.
#36
I cancelled a date because I was sick he showed up half an hour later with medicine, soup and the Lord of The Rings box set.
#37
This is about two guys actually. I’m a football (soccer) fanatic. I always wanted my favourite football team’s jersey since I was about 13, it was a luxury I couldn’t afford because we struggled a lot financially. In uni two of my male friends (besties) went 50/50 on a football jersey of my favourite team for my birthday.
So teams have a home, away and 3rd kit. They sneakily got information out of me, to figure out which one I’d want. So whilst I thought we were just having a causal convos about our teams kits, they were extracting information out of me. 🤣
I d**n near cried when I opened the gift. That season my team went on to win the Champions League. I plan to have the jersey framed.
#38
Not done to me, but I actually met someone in an emergency room. His dad was sick, and despite the stressful situation and long wait, he stayed so patient and reassuring. He kept comforting his dad with the sweetest smile, making sure he felt at ease. The way he handled everything with such grace and warmth really stood out to me.
#39
He was hanging around my boyfriend of the time who was bragging about how he was cheating on me. The next night when we were all hanging out in a group, he asked if I’d like to go on a walk with him before I went home for the night because he wanted to talk to me about something. He told me everything my bf said about the girl because “you deserved to know”. He bought me a soda and talked to me while I processed it and never once made me feel like he was preying on that circumstance like people sometimes do.
#40
Was on the date with a guy and we went on a bus and after us this one older lady struggled to pay for the ticket. My date went and paid for her.. the s**iest thing I have ever seen.
#41
Men who stand up to other men being unnecessarily rude, aggressive, mean to people. Immediately stands out in the BEST way.
#42
My now husband was a college student who used a bicycle to commute. When we met, he decided to get a “proper” vehicle to visit me because I lived an hour away. That vehicle was a motorcycle and he would drive it in the middle of winter where it’d get down to 20 degrees.
He always swore that it was no big deal. Well, he finally admitted that the drive was miserable but worth it to see me.
#43
He brought me snow ice cream.
We were in college together, but he frequently went home on the weekends – 200 miles away. It had snowed there, and knowing that I had not seen much snow in my life, he packed up the ingredients and made snow ice cream for me in the parking lot of my dorm. We married and had 44 years together.
#44
A girl and a guy I work with and myself were having a conversation about traumas and how it comes out in sleep (sleep paralysis or night terrors) but she had said something along the lines of “I mean im pretty f****d up been to mental hospital hospital and everything ” and he just sort of connected and made the comment “we all have a past and we all have a story” just in the most understandable comforting way and stuff like that makes me think wow this human is a good human. No judgment at all from him.
#45
He made me feel heard. I was new to this group of people and am fairly introverted and naturally soft spoken. The people around me were great and fun people, but the first time I tried to speak up I was accidentally spoken over. I felt SO awkward and embarrassed. But he noticed and he said really kindly to the person who’d accidentally interrupted me: “Oh hey, sorry but I think OP was trying to say something!” And the guy that interrupted me apologized profusely and they all seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say.
I’d never felt so valued amongst a group of already established friends. He made me feel heard, didn’t make me or anyone at the table feel awkward, and I got to speak up. Thanks to him I grew closer to these amazing people and found my voice amongst them. He rarely has to step in again, but he’s done it for me and for others on many occasions. Such an amazing guy.
#46
Just being a genuinely thoughtful, kind human being without any expectations of getting any (uh hum) in return.
#47
It is my now husband(feel so good to say that, lol). I am in tech and I usually work from home, however I go to the office occasionally. This time was for a brainstorm meeting for an important project we wanted to undergo. I was the project leader along with someone else and everyone was brainstorming but also asking me a bunch of questions and I felt really overwhelmed as I don’t like being the center of attention at all, even though I lead pretty well I’d say. I texted him after the meeting(about 2 hours before close of day) that the meeting was hectic and I was overwhelmed, trying to make light of it. This man legit saw my message and took a bus to my workplace, it takes 1.5hrs to get to by bus.
When I closed from work and went to my car, I saw him standing there and looking at me with those pretty hazel eyes of his and I just felt so loved at that point. He opened his arms and we hugged for a long time(I was just taking in his scent haha). I asked him why he was there cause I hate feeling like someone inconveniences themselves for me and he was just like, “I know you well to know that you would be overthinking everything you said in that meeting so I am here to take you home. You wanna go watch the sunset before we go?” It took everything to not just cry.
I love that guy :-).
#48
He took the time to understand misogyny and how it affects women. Then he stands up to other men about it.
#49
Held my hair back while I was drunk and threw up.
#50
He can articulate emotions beyond happy, sad, and angry and isn’t afraid to dive into the source of those emotions to help regulate.
#51
I cut my finger, relatively minor, on our first date. He came with me in the ambulance to get my finger stitched up, and then took the taxi back with me to my house to make sure I got home safe, before then taking the same cab back to the restaurant to pick up his car so he could drive home.
He organised the next two restaurant dates and jokingly made one a burger date, and the second a chopsticks-style date. We met for drinks in between these and he also pointed out that the pubs had plastic pint glasses.
That first date was nearly 2 years ago, and even though we’re now long distance, he still surprises me with little gifts here and there. I try and do the same too.
#52
I was really sick with pneumonia and hadn’t taken a shower in days because our hot water wasn’t working and I was really too sick to get up. my boyfriend at the time (now husband) heated water on the stove to fill the bath tub so I could bathe while relaxing. no one had ever shown me that kind of love before. he still does these kinds of things for me. im the luckiest girl.
#53
He took my side against his mother and held the line.
#54
Certain guys will always stand out for me even years after we dated.
Guy #1 offered to walk me to my car in a parking garage without me asking
Guy #2 was a really great communicator. Not just a conversation that flows so easily, but I never had to wonder if a long silence meant he was pulling back because he’d established his honesty enough where I knew he’d just come out and tell me rather than play games
Guy #3 brought me coffee at work when I was having a hard day and I almost cried from how unexpected the gesture was. He worked in the building next door and took time out of his day to stop, get my normal order, and then found a way to get it to me without disrupting my day so that the kindness didn’t become a hassle instead.
#55
A guy I met in line while getting a sandwich, chatted a bit, and then stopped in traffic to bring me a chair to sit on as I waited in line in a drizzling rain for theatre tickets. One of the best moments of my life. I still have that fold up camper chair and will keep it to my death.
#56
Loves my son as his own. He came into our lives when my son was turning 3 and since then that’s always been “his boy”.
#57
Everything about my fiancé is a green flag, but what first struck me about him was his attitude about life. He calls every weekend a “vacation” and absolutely treats it as such. He has such a positive outlook that I can’t help but try to find the good in things, too. He is the biggest supporter of everyone he loves. If you’re taking a picture, he’s up there shining his phone to help you get better lighting. He will sit at your feet and pass you your baby shower gifts. He is 100% himself no matter who he’s with, and he’s the only man my sister has ever liked (which says a lot, because she has hated every single boyfriend of mine since I was 16). He jumped at the opportunity to help my mom and I take care of my stepdad as he was dying from cancer and helped us through some of the worst days of our lives, and we had only been dating a few months at this point. My mom actually pulled me aside during that trip and said, “that is a man you MARRY.” I’ve always dated horrible men, and for my family to see his kindness and encourage me to lean into him was everything.
#58
When they take accountability for their actions. In the early days of dating my fiancée, he told me of a prank he had just pulled on his brother. I pointed out that he was being an a*s to use his brother’s irrational fear for the prank. He paused, and was like, “yeah, actually, that wasn’t really nice.” And then actually apologized to his brother. That was the moment I fell in love with him.
#59
We weren’t that serious yet and I went travelling for a year. He never brought up the idea of ‘taking a break’. He saved up for 6 months to come and visit me on my travels and arrived with a suitcase full of home comforts. We were skint students and it was a really difficult journey so it felt like a Big Deal. THEN when he got home, he went to visit my family for Christmas even though I wasn’t there.
My Mum and my Sister both told me on no uncertain terms that I’d be a bloody idiot to let that one go (and they’re a pretty hard crowd to impress).
Married him, travelled together had kids and bought a farm. He’s the love of my life.
#60
Being patient and honorable, even when it’s acceptable to be a d**k. We met at a party. Two other guys were hitting on me but said incredibly invasive and offensive things when I really started talking to them. (Asking repeatedly if I was a virgin and telling me women make bad scientists). Afterward, this dude stayed chill when I sat down on the couch next to him. I was pretty drunk. He never tried to pressure me. We talked b******t. He asked for my number at the end of the night. We’ve been together 21 years. Basically he was just decent and not trying to rush the tempo.
#61
I don’t like kissing, I’ve had strangers and people I knew force them on me.
My last ex was the only one who paid attention and never crossed that boundary or made me feel bad about it. Even when he really wanted to kiss me. I never had to explain it. He heard it once and never crossed that line.
#62
Before we started dating my husband and I would go swimming every week, hang out in the hot tub and b***h about work and whatever. He never once checked me out. His eyes never moved from my face. Or if they did he was super covert about it because I never noticed. He was incredibly restrained and respectful.
#63
He door dashed me lunch at work when I forgot to bring mine. I had a stressful day and was wound up. Every time I was getting tense, he would gently push me back to my relaxed position. I didn’t even notice he was doing it until I was thinking back on my day. Insists on me sleeping enough on my days off. ( I work overnight, so most people expect me to change my sleeping pattern to better fit their schedule).
#64
A previous boyfriend told me, unprompted, “Thank you for doing that for us” when I told him I was refilling my birth control.
No partner had ever acknowledged the effort as something I do “for us.” It meant everything for my partner to see and appreciate the burden I take on as a woman in a straight relationship re: birth control.
#65
Early on after my ex and I first met, he leaned over to kiss me. I gently pushed him away and said I wasn’t there and just wanted to be friends for the time being. For the month that followed, we hung out a lot, as friends, and he didn’t make another move. We got closer and one night we ended up cuddling and watching tv. After a couple of hours, he asked me if he could kiss me and didn’t move as he was waiting for my response first.
It might seem small, but as a person who experienced sexual harassments, sexual assaults and r**e, this simple act of acknowledging my autonomy over my body meant everything to me.
We were together for 6 years, and never did he ever make me feel unsafe with him sexually.
~ Eclipse.
#66
Whenever I make a mistake or screw up in some way that annoys/hurts/angers him or whatever, we talk it out, I apologise, he accepts, and then he’s back to normal and literally never brings it up again. It is such a relief to never fear that the person you are with is holding a grudge. He also never keeps a score. There is no “I did this for you, so why can’t you XYZ” or “I am so X, so why are you Y.” His relationship philosophy is that he gives whatever he can on any given day, and I do the same, and then we show empathy and grace for one another whenever one can’t give very much. I never feel like a fall short or disappoint him or don’t make him happy.
#67
We went on a date to an arcade at an amusement park. I just wanted to play the games, but obviously you get tickets for prizes. We both ended up with a decent amount, but not enough for anything crazy, ya know? Maybe a plastic toy or a handful of candy. I usually just give away my tickets and I was about to suggest we do that, but he beat me to it lol. “We should find a kid and give our tickets to them. I bet it’ll make their day.” My heart melted… still together 3 years later.
#68
I bled on my sheets during my period and while I was out the following morning he took vinegar and cleaner to them and had them washed and dried before I came back. Absolute 10/10.
#69
From the first time we met in person and over 4 years later, he looks at me like I’m the most precious thing in the world. No one has ever looked at me with such wonder my entire life, and he takes such good care of me. The only time he’s made me cry was last week when he surprised me with a photo album of our cat who’s been diagnosed with cancer and only a few months left to live. I love this man so much.
#70
Basically, a chameleon type who can adapt to situations easily. He has confidence but still pokes fun at himself and doesn’t take himself too seriously.
#71
When he makes me feel heard and includes me regardless of how shy I am.
#72
When I was still in uni, I went home every other weekend which is about a 2-3 hour commute. My bf at the time also went home on weekends but his hometown is ~2 hours in the opposite direction. Still, this man would insist on driving me home so I wouldn’t have to take the bus, even though it was out of the way, summing up to a ~6 hour drive for him.
Come Sunday, he would also pick me up 😭.
#73
He drove me to a self defense class i was scared to start. The first 5 or so times. And waited. And drove me back. Just reading a book in the car for an hour, either side of a 1hr round trip, simply so I could go with some support and not have to drive while stressing so much.
#74
I was walking to school one day when a very uncomfortable looking guy in a pickup truck pulled up beside me and said “hey miss, your backpack, it’s pulling up your skirt” and then he sped off lolol. Still makes me laugh to this day.
#75
Baby sister’s now husband: On their first date, she casually mentioned that she’d lost a copy of a movie she really liked. He showed up with the DVD in hand on the second date. It was an older movie and probably cost him less than $10 but it completely elevated him to her.
#76
He could have made a move on a girl that he’s been in love with for years when she and her boyfriend temporarily broke up; but instead, he just took her out for a drink, calmed her down, let her blow off steam, then drove her straight to the boyfriend’s house (he was their mutual friend), and told both of them to make up.
When I asked him if he ever regretted it, he said he didn’t, because he wanted her to be happy.
#77
He’s always running errands for his elderly relatives.
#78
A friend of mine organizes house parties every now and then, and takes care of everything – from food preparation (he’s a good cook) to entertainment for his guests. He also renovated his house by himself. To me that showed that he’s very reliable, responsable and resourceful.
And to add, when we were hiking, and the people started to get tired, he offered to carry some of their bags for a while, so they could rest.
#79
Great self control. We were in a meeting at work and this guy (actually, very competent person) was getting unfairly roasted by his superior who needed to put someone down. The guy just stood there stoically and neither crashed not winced. He let the superior finish his nonsense and then moved on with his presentation. No reply, no defending himself, no apology. I was wet (in my soul).
Kindness, but not the naive/pacifying kind. The type of kindness where you have a lot of power, know incriminating things about a person, and yet choose not to harm them. I was/am in awe.
#80
I’d had a really rough day and communicated with him that I wouldn’t be very chatty while I processed my thoughts. He sent a lovely message saying he was there when I was ready to talk.
Later that evening he called me and asked me to go to my front door, he had travelled nearly an hour and a half to leave flowers on my doorstep just to make me smile. The sweetest thing was that he wasn’t waiting at my door, he was in his car at the end of the road ready to drive back home because he was respecting my wish for space to process what happened.
Obviously I did ask him to turn around and we talked for a while, he comforted me and then went home. That kind of care and respect just makes me realise how lucky I am to have him in my life.
#81
Taking ownership of his own contributions to emotional labor within the relationship. I’ve never had a male partner before my current one who cares as much as I do about the emotional side of the relationship, I’ve always had to be the one who initiates the conversation when something needs to be discussed or apologize first when there’s conflict.
A few months into things with my current partner we disagreed on something (frequency of communication, he’s not a big texter/communicator when not in person whereas my point of view was that if we were only hanging out once a week I wanted more interaction between that). We figured out a compromise which was great, but even better was that he checked in with me about a month later and asked if our compromise was still working for me or if we needed to work on it further. I just found it so lovely and refreshing that he took the initiative to follow up. He’s continued to be this accountable and conscientious towards my feelings and it’s one of the big reasons why I’m madly in love with him :).
#82
This one man always surprised me by the small details he retained about me. I wouldn’t even remember ever saying how much I like something but he would.
#83
My husband’s pick up line. He asked me about the last book I read. I had to at least talk to the guy lol.
#84
Leaving little notes in my bag or somewhere in the house , or making my lunch for me even when I have graveyard shifts!
#85
My husband. We were friends before we started dating, and I’d go around to his place for drinks with a few others on the weekends. One night, his (kinda) step brother was there, and his phone got a message. My husband passed it to him and gave him a little tease about it, possibly being a girl. Then he said to him, “I hope you’re not talking to more than one girl, cause that’s not cool.” (Meaning flirting/chatting up). He was very genuine when he said it, and it wasn’t to impress me.
#86
Walked my dog the morning after a late night of dinner and drinks so I could sleep in.
#87
Pretty early on when I first met my now partner (met through a mutual friend, had only talked on Discord maybe twice at this point) I casually mentioned to him that I needed to get some ROMs of games for a console I had just modded. This man proceeded to take the time to put his entire library of games in organized Google drive folders and share them with me because he thought I would appreciate it. We now have it on the calendar as “ROM Share Day” and it makes me smile every time I think about it.
#88
Well one time i went to wash dishes in the restaurant i’ve worked for 14 hours two days in a row and my body didn’t take it well
The next day i called my BF crying that im never ever washing any dishes again
His response : “you’re not gonna have to”
Long story short one year together and he’s still doing the dishes for me.
#89
One thing that always stands out is when a man shows **genuine confidence without arrogance**—especially in situations where others might be trying to prove themselves.
For example, I’ve seen men in leadership positions who don’t dominate conversations but instead **listen intently** and make space for others to contribute. There’s something powerful about a guy who doesn’t need to be the loudest in the room to command respect.
Another standout moment is when a man **stands up for someone without seeking credit**—like shutting down an unfair comment or advocating for someone who isn’t being heard. It shows strength, integrity, and character without the need for validation.
#90
My husband got my brother in law to drive 40 minutes to pick me up after I had pulled over/couldn’t drive from so much pain (spinal injury). Both good eggs.
#91
I used to store my debit card in my bra. One night, a group of friends and I were getting ready to go out and I pulled my shirt out to place the card in my bra. The second our male friend noticed what was happening, he turned away and waited a moment before turning around.
It was the most gentlemanly thing I’ve ever seen a man do.
#92
Was an ex of mine- we went on a second date in the city without realising it was match day and it was HEAVING. He told me he’s really uncomfortable with crowds so I was fully expecting him to lean on me throughout the day. Instead he took my hand and led us through the crowds. This man told me he has a phobia and he pushed through it for me. I found it such a sweet gesture and I wish I’d told him at the time as we didn’t last much longer than that.
#93
He was consistent at texting and initiating dates.
#94
He doesn’t view taking care of himself as unmanly.
#95
I met my husband when we were 17. Our first interaction was very uplifting, I’d pass a test(our teacher would say if we passed out loud and would basically say Name – Pass) and when my husband heard I passed, he looked at me, said wow awesome good job! And I was like thanks. Didn’t really know him, thought he was attractive, and it was a nice little thing for someone I didn’t know to be rooting for me.
He did that often when I passed a test, gave me a high five and eventually he squeezed in my conversation with my friend at the time. And then we ended up exchanging socials. He is very charismatic, and his way of asking for my socials was “oh is he your best friend? I think I could out best friend him. You don’t have his socials? Well you’ll have mine and I’ll be the better best friend.”
Definitely an excuse for my husband to get my socials and slide in my dms in the most cheeky way. How? He messaged me “slide. I just slid in your dms.” He continues to court me, and one thing I absolutely love is how he’ll open my door for me. He has then and still does, it’s just a little thing that fills my heart with joy. He welded me those metal welded flowers with a love note on it saying how his love for me will die when the flower does and much more ofc. That love note is on our fridge. We’re 24 now and I can’t wait to continue living life with this man ❤️.