Chat, be honest—if your boyfriend says he wants to “hit pause” on the relationship to figure himself out, then disappears for six weeks without responding… would you assume he broke up with you?
This Redditor did.
Thinking the relationship was over, they decided to adopt a dog, something they couldn’t do before because their boyfriend was allergic.
But more than a month later, he showed up at their doorstep, saying he was ready to be part of their life again, only to be shocked and hurt to find a dog there instead of a warm welcome.
Scroll down to see how that reunion played out… and whether the relationship survived it.
RELATED:The man told his partner he needed a break from the relationship and vanished for six weeks
When he returned, he expected a warm welcome, but was greeted by a dog he’s allergic to instead
Is there a right way to take a relationship break?
Taking a break from your relationship is a serious decision, and one that can easily lead to misunderstanding if not handled carefully.
For many, the word break automatically signals a breakup, or at least a warning sign that things might not be repairable. It can feel like a way of stepping back without actually taking accountability.
And statistically, that assumption isn’t too far off. Research shows that chances of reuniting after a break are low. One study found that only 10 percent of couples who lived together ended up getting back together after a separation, and only 33 percent of those stayed together long-term.
But that doesn’t mean breaks are doomed to fail. Experts say it all depends on how you handle it.
“It is highly dependent on how the people in the relationship approach the break and decide to maturely work on the underlying issues that have led to this particular moment,” Elizabeth Overstreet, a relationship expert, told Brides. “Taking a break away from someone you love and have been in a relationship with can elicit different responses.”
So what’s the best way to navigate a relationship break?
First, both partners need to clearly understand why the break is happening. What’s the purpose behind it?
Are you feeling disconnected? Are you starting a new chapter in life, like moving for work or school, that’s making you question your future together?
If the issue is something fundamental—like one of you wants kids and the other doesn’t—it might not be a break you need, but a breakup.
Either way, it’s crucial to have an open and honest, in-person conversation.
During that conversation, don’t hold back.
“Be open and honest about why you both feel the break is needed,” Overstreet said. “This will help establish the goals and expectations during the break and allow both individuals to go into it with clarity around its purpose. It takes courage and vulnerability to say what you need to say—but on the back end, you both will respect one another for putting your cards on the table versus holding back the truth.”
One of the most important things to do is set clear rules and boundaries.
You should both agree on what this break means: Will you stay in touch? Will you see other people? How will shared responsibilities be handled, like living arrangements, pets, or even a shared car?
Also, decide how long the break will last. There’s no one-size-fits-all timeline, according to Calm. Some couples may benefit from just a week apart, while others need more time. The key is to agree on a timeframe together, and actually stick to it.
With all that in mind, it’s easy to see why the author of the story above felt like the relationship had come to an end. There wasn’t enough communication or structure around the break to make it feel mutual or intentional.
Because when one person disappears without any of these conversations, it doesn’t feel like a break, it feels like being left behind.
The author later shared more thoughts on how they felt
Many readers sided with them, saying the boyfriend was in the wrong for disappearing
However, some argued they were also at fault for not realizing a break didn’t mean a breakup
